I opened my eyes. It was dark and I felt uneasy. I couldn’t remember at first, but then slowly Carter’s opinion floated back to me. What if I ruin the band by being here? I should avoid upsetting Carter in the future.
I made up my mind then and there to listen to whatever Mike told me. I wondered if he was still sleeping above me in the bunk. I listened for any sounds outside the bunk to alert me to anyone’s presence, but I couldn’t hear voices either. I couldn’t hear anything. It was very quiet. What had woken me up then?
I couldn’t feel the vibrations of the bus anymore so assumed we had stopped moving. I decided bravely to go have a look outside the bunk, but when I turned my head to the left to get out of the bunk, I saw Sean’s head floating next to me.
“Mr. Masters!” I exclaimed in shock.
He laughed. “Peek-a-boo”.
I propped myself up on my elbows. “What is it-sir?”
He smiled. “You don’t have to call me that when Mike’s not around”.
I giggled nervously. “I’d rather not take any chances”.
“We’ve stopped for dinner”, he informed me. “Come on”.
“I should stay here”, I cringed. “Let people cool down”.
“People are cooled down”. He winked. “If by people, you mean Carter”.
I slipped out of the bunk bed, reluctantly to follow him. There was no one on the bus, but Sean and me. I noted the bus driver, Matt was gone to as I followed Sean out of the bus. Once we were outside, I could immediately smell the sea.
“Where are we?” I asked.
“Folkestone”, he replied. “We thought we’d have dinner before retiring as we’re crossing to Calais very early tomorrow morning”.
“Okay, Mr. Masters”.
He sighed, audibly.
“Look, it’s in the agreement”, I complained. “I can’t make everyone happy at the same time”.
We crossed over the parking lot next to the docks and walked towards a restaurant with a patio that overlooked the dark sea. The moon was reflecting on the black, still depths. I followed him through the restaurant to the patio. It was still just warm enough to sit outside.
Walking through the restaurant, I noticed that a couple of people were pointing and whispering. I supposed it would be something I’d have to get used to on the tour.
The rest of the band, Billy and Matt were sitting around a wooden table. There was another man I hadn’t met before, but I knew who he was. He had thinning brown hair, weary brown eyes and was nearing his mid-sixties. The band’s manager, Andrew Stevens.
Sean sat down at the very right end of the table. The earlier tension I felt was no longer there or they were better actors than I gave them credit for. Billy winked at me when I sat down between him and Sean. Andrew Stevens sat across from me with Mike on his left and Carter on his right. On Carter’s right was Jason with Noah across from him on Billy’s left.
“I’m Andrew”, Andrew Stevens said and held out his hand to me.
I shook it. “Victoria”.
“Nice to meet you”.
“Andrew’s the tour manager”, Billy informed me unnecessarily.
I nodded. “Yes, I know…I, uh-” I’ve heard every single interview you’ve ever done. “I know”. Fantastic first impression. Well done, me.
Andrew laughed. He was friendly enough unlike Carter who was glaring at me from under his black fringe. I tried to ignore him while the rest of them discussed tour plans.
After a while the waiter brought the menus and Andrew turned the conversation to the previous night’s show.
“Congrats on last night”, he said. “It was a fair show”.
FAIR?! It was the most amazing show I’d ever seen in my life!
“You were at the gig last night, right, Victoria?” Andrew asked me suddenly.
After a beat, I nodded. The way he said it I was sure he knew I was there, but he was merely being polite.
“What did you think?”
“Um—what did I think of—what?” I asked awkwardly. Sean and Jason were sniggering.
“You’re a musician, right?” Andrew continued.
“Yes”, I said, searching for appropriate words, or just words that made sense. “I-”I looked around at the band whose eyes were all on me, waiting expectantly. Even Billy was watching me.
“It was fine”. I looked down at my hands on the table.
Andrew raised his eyebrows. “Really?”
“Yeah”, I said, nervously.
“How about the sound?” he continued relentlessly.
“Uh-”I glanced nervously at Mike. “I’m not really the right person to ask”.
“Sure, you are”, Andrew grinned. “You must have seen a lot of shows and performed them as well”.
“Yeah, but-”
“I won’t hold what you say against you”, Mike assured me, “you can be honest”.
I watched him for a while to make sure he was sincere. It didn’t help much. His face had taken on the cool mask, and I couldn’t interpret an emotion.
“Honestly, the sound was good from where we were standing”, I said, suppressing the actual genuine rush I felt because of how brilliant it was. Indescribable, really. “But I purposefully choose to stand in the middle and slightly to the back at big shows because I know I have the sound from all sides there, and the bass isn’t overpowering”. I was desperately trying to change the subject and get the attention away from me. “Where are Mike and James Miller?” I asked, quickly.
Most of them just shrugged which I found rather peculiar.
Andrew frowned, looking around. “Somewhere”.
“What are the chances that they are doing something illegal?” I asked as the thought occurred to me.
“Rather high”, Sean laughed.
“Oh, dear”.
Everyone laughed at my innocent choice of words.
The waiter arrived to take our order.
“So, what’s everyone having?” Andrew asked, bored.
Every single head at the table turned to me. Of course, they’re letting me order first when I haven’t as much as glanced at the menu.
“I would like a-“ Panic, panic. I flipped the menu open and scanned it hurriedly.
“Yes, Victoria?” Andrew prompted. “You were saying-?”
“I would like a Chicken Tramazini”. I chose the first thing my eyes landed on.
“And to drink?” the waiter asked me.
“Um…a glass of white wine, please?”
“Just bring a bottle, please”, Mike told the waiter.
I frowned at him but didn’t say anything.
Everyone else ordered their food while I silently tried to interpret Mike’s expression.
Finally, the waiter left after the long order.
“A bottle?” I asked Mike. “I wouldn’t take you for a wine-drinker”.
“It’s for you”, he replied simply.
I looked at Sean for clarification, but he just smiled.
“Are you trying to get me drunk, Mike?” Once the words had left my mouth, I suddenly wondered if it was an appropriate line of questioning in front of the management.
“No”, Mike replied, locking his eyes with mine. “I wouldn’t need it”.
I blushed unintentionally.
Someone whistled. Sean chuckled next to me, and I was vaguely aware of Jason sniggering as I crossed my arms silently.
“Andrew”, Mike said, not taking his eyes off me. “Are we staying on the bus tonight, or-?”
Andrew shook his head. “No, we’re staying in a bed and breakfast across the road”, he replied. “Nice and close so we can leave right after breakfast…it would take five hours to get to Paris…so if we left by eight-we’d make it to Paris by one”.
“Are the rooms near each other?” he enquired further.
“They’re separate cabins”, Andrew told him. “Any particular reason you’re asking?”
“Yeah”. Mike’s eyes flicked to mine, but he didn’t elaborate.
I wondered whether Andrew knew the ins and outs of why I was on tour, but he answered my question shortly after.
“I didn’t book any extra accommodation for Victoria”, he told Mike, “I assumed she’d be staying with you”.
“She’ll stay with me”, Mike confirmed.
I kept my eyes fixed on my hands as to not catch anyone’s eyes, but I could feel all the pairs of eyes on me.
“Really got this one eating out of the palm of your hand, don’t ya?” Andrew smiled.
I caught Carter’s eye by mistake, and he glared at me.
The waiter brought the wine and I poured myself a glass, glad for something to do.
After my first couple of sips, Mike spoke. “You’re very quiet tonight”.
I took a couple more sips to stop myself swearing at him and when I composed myself, answered: “I don’t have anything to say”.
“Mike told me you’re a teacher”, Andrew said.
What a dick move, Mike!
“Yes, but I’m mainly a musician and writer”, I said, drinking more wine.
“Aren’t those type of people normally extroverts?”
“Victoria’s just under pressure, I think”, Noah came to my aid.
I smiled at him.
“You’re a brave girl”, Andrew said over the guys’ laughter. “I find it hard to survive them sometimes”. Then he laughed at his own joke.
“Does anyone want some wine?” I offered the table.
“I’ll have some”, Andrew said.
I poured him a glass.
“Do you have any siblings?” Andrew asked, accepting the glass from me. “Thank you”.
“I have two younger brothers”.
“Hey!” Sean said, suddenly. “How’s Olivia?”
“She’s great”, I said. “How did you know she’s a friend of mine?”
“Besides that, she spoke about you-I assumed you knew the person you shared your prize with”.
“Oh, of course”. I blushed deeply.
“She’s a cool chick”.
I laughed. “She’ll be glad to hear that”.
The food arrived and we started eating. I was glad to be able to concentrate on eating and not expected to think of something impressive to say. Instead, I listened with interest to the band discussing their new album. It was information not known to the public yet so I tried to catch as much of it as I could without making it obvious that I was listening.
I looked up when it went strangely silent. Everyone’s eyes were once again on me.
“What?” I asked, looking around at them, shyly.
“You were singing,” Jason enlightened me. “One of our songs”.
“Oh, no!” I said, loudly. “Was I singing that aloud? Dammit”.
There was a general chuckle.
“You’ve got a good voice, Victoria”, Jason smiled. “I’ll give you that”.
“Thank you”.
“Are we your favourite band?” Noah teased.
“Oh, hilarious”, I said and rolled my eyes. “I think it’s quite obvious”.
“What is it you like about us?” Sean asked.
“Ah…come on!”
“It’s not that hard”, Mike said. “Just answer the question”.
The arrogance.
I sighed. “Everything”.
“How descriptive”, Mike breathed.
All right! That’s enough out of you!
“You’re really going to make me do this?” I asked, looking around at them all.
Mike nodded.
I sighed. “The amazing technical skill…guitar solos…the lyrics are some of the most intelligent things I’ve ever heard-very poetic-but my favourite instrument is drums-even though I don’t play them. And the band has the most creative drums”.
“How did you first hear of us?” Jason asked. “I like asking fans that”.
I stared at him for a while, thinking how to answer his question.
“So, what’s the story?” he pushed.
“Actually, it was ages ago”, I admitted. I poured a new glass of wine and took a couple of sips. “Just after the release of your third album-my brother introduced me to the music”.
I paused too long, and Mike prompted, “is that it?”
“Patience, please-“ I smiled. “My brother called me over and said, look at this band-it was on Scuzz on the tv…He said, I think you’d think their hot”.
There were some murmurs and chuckles around the table.
I blushed, angry at myself for not filtering properly.
“So, you think we’re hot?” Jason smirked.
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, but it was the music! That’s it. Not an incredible story”.
“What’s your favourite song?” Sean asked.
I started listing some of the songs I liked the most, a lot of them written by Jason. It’s not very common for drummers to write that many songs.
“Jay, you are a genius”, I told him when I’d finished rambling about how great they were.
Jason chuckled appreciatively.
“I wonder why women like those songs so much”, Noah commented. “It should be too grotesque for the female appeal”.
“Who’ve you been dating?” Jason asked Noah with raised eyebrows, making me laugh a little too loudly.
I tried to draw attention away from it by adding: “Women are way more into the things you think we dislike-like sex for example, it’s scientifically proven that women think about it more than men do”.
“Right”, Andrew said, probably uncomfortable with where the conversation was going. “Six-thirty sharp for breakfast”, he told the band. “Don’t stay up too late. I’m going to bed”.
“Me, too”, Billy said.
When it was just the band and I, I assumed the game continued.
“By the way, Victoria”, Mike said. “Your dad called while you were asleep”.
“What?” I demanded. “Did YOU answer it?” I completely forgot about the game.
“Yeah”, he said with half a smile. Some of the other band members were chuckling.
“I told him your mouth was busy and incapable of speaking”, he answered, confidently.
Before I could start to scream at him, Noah said : “Mike’s joking, Victoria”.
“Oh, well haha”, I said, still a little annoyed.
“What does it matter?” Mike smiled infuriatingly. “You’re thirty-two”.
“You do realise fathers, no matter their daughters’ age, don’t want anything put in their daughters’ mouths besides food and the blessed words of Jesus Christ”.
They all burst out laughing so intensely that I was unable to stop myself laughing along with them.
“So, wait, my dad didn’t phone?” I asked once everyone had calmed down.
“Your Dad phoned, but nobody answered”, Sean told me. “We just saw the caller ID”.
“Well, you scared me”. I picked up the tomato-ketchup and mock squeezed it in Mike’s direction, not realising the cap was open ,and it squirted across his face and down his shirt.
I gasped and jumped up from the table like a reflex. I didn’t notice anyone else around me anymore. My eyes were fixed on Mike who was examining the damage.
“I’m so sorry, Sir!” I stuttered, frantically. “It just—I didn’t realise it was open—I—“
He fixed me with a stare, and I fell instantly silent.
It was silent while Mike wiped his face with the serviette except for Sean and Jason who were sniggering softly from opposite sides of the table.
He stood up, watching me intently. “I expect you in the cabin in twenty minutes”. Then he calmly turned and left.
I stood staring after him until he disappeared into the darkness as he crossed the road.
I unfroze and sat back down slowly in my seat. Every one of the four remaining band members were still chuckling.
“Well done”, Noah said and leaned over, holding his hand up to high-five me.
I just stared at him, immobilised so he high-fived Jason across the table instead.
I stared at my wine glass in silence.
“Hey”, Sean said, nudging me. “You okay?”
“No”, I said, softly. “I’m going to be in so much trouble”.
That time every single person at and around the table burst out laughing loudly.
I stared flabbergasted at them. “Well, thanks—I’m glad you find humour in my demise”.
They laughed even louder.
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” Sean asked smiling, “you signed up for this kind of thing?”
“I know, it’s just normally I don’t get in trouble this quickly”, I explained. “He’s going to kill me”.
“Don’t be stupid”, Jason chuckled.
Sean agreed. “Mike, won’t kill you…He might paralyse you though”.
They laughed at some internal joke while I pursed my lips in frustration.
Carter even seemed to be enjoying himself then, or maybe he was just tipsy.
I breathed a deep sigh and stood up.
“Hey, where you going?” Jason mumbled.
“I’m supposed to go to the cabin-“
“I’d have some more wine before I go if I were you”, Sean said and as I turned to him, he winked.
“What?”
“You know—“ He spoke in Jason’s direction. “It can act as an anaesthetic”.
“You guys are not comforting me at all”.
“We’re just playing with you”, Noah smiled. “Fuck, why are you so terrified anyway?”
There was a loud gasp from Carter, and he snapped his fingers in the air. “You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”
“I’m thirty-two, dude”.
He sat back in his seat and assumed his sour expression.
“I’m just—I don’t know—it’s just nerves”.
“So if it was anyone—it would be the same?” Noah asked, trying to understand.
“Not anyone”, I replied, “but any of you, yes”.
The band decided it would be best to walk to the cabins with me considering I had no idea where I was going. I greeted Jason and Carter as they drifted off towards their cabin.
Noah and Sean’s cabin were just next to Mike’s. Outside of their cabin, we paused for a moment.
“Goodnight, guys”, I said.
“Night”, Sean said, leaning against the door of the cabin with a grin on his face.
“What?” I asked, uncomfortably.
“Nothing”, he said, still grinning. “Night”. He went into the cabin, but Noah stayed.
I frowned at him, curiously.
He stood silently watching me for a while.
I treaded around in the dirt, waiting and wondering if I should just walk away or say goodnight again or something.
“Are you going to be okay?” he finally asked and I almost sighed out loud with relief.
“Of course”, I said and nodded frantically too many times.
“It’s just a game, remember”, Noah assured me. “He won’t do anything you don’t want to do”.
“Sure”.
Noah laughed as if he knew what I was thinking. “I promise you. I’ve known him my whole life”.
I nodded. “Thank you”.
“Can I ask you something?”
I nodded again.
“Don’t worry—it’ll be confidential”.
“Are you going to ask me if I’m a virgin again…’cause it’s really ridiculous”.
He laughed. “No…Do you want to be here?”
I frowned. “Is that the confidential question?”
“Yeah”.
“Of course”, I assured him. “As I said, it’s just first time with a new person nerves”.
“Gotcha”, he smiled. “Night. I’ll see you in the morning”.
She who writes 